Following My Heart
It has been a while since I have been able to write but that is hopefully changing now. I am also working on a new podcast to go up that will better explain what is happening these days with myself and my business. This is the most exciting time for me and I can not wait to share my journey with you.
Megan Heyhurst Photography has really taken off. I am so thankful for everything that is happening for my business right now, and as many of you know I have also expanded into social media to help businesses with content, knowledge, and management.
Many years ago when I made the leap to leave pharmacy and be a stay at home mom to my kids and run a day-home I was nervous but also very happy to be able to have the chance to say home with my children and watch them grow and be there for them. Unfortunately I was not able to be there for them as much as I thought and the mom guilt of missing out on events that they had was far to great. I decided that I needed to do what was best for my family and myself and even though I loved running the daycare I disliked that fact that I was missing out on my kids and when I would attend an event and close my day-home for the day I was overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt about letting others down. I have always been a people pleaser and until recently I thought that was a good thing, but I see it is also my downfall if I do not set boundaries.
Boundaries are a hard thing. I would never feel angry if someone said “NO” to me for whatever reason. Yet I just could never say “NO” to others. As a result I was fining less time to actually be present for my children and my family. The number one thing I want in life is a happy family, not a perfect family, but a happy home. I want my children to have a mom that is present and can actually play with them or have time for them. The balance of life. So after several late night discussions with my husband and my children and other family members I knew what I needed to do for myself and my family. I decided to take a leap of faith and close my day-home and move on to the next chapter of my life. I put myself out there in the photography world, broadcast world, and social media world. I even had a few other options I was exploring to allow me to be the mother and business woman I strived to be.
Now here I am early morning at my parents Cabin writing this blog post before I get to work for the La Ronge Ice Wolves and begin my marketing phone calls for the day. I am showing up here to write to you to tell you that even if you are scared, take that leap and do what is truly best for you. You won’t know until you try but life is too short to not try and do what you are destined to do. The biggest regret I have right now is not having made the leap to professional photographer sooner so that my Grandmother could have seen my art while she was alive. I know she would be so proud of me and everything I have accomplished in such a short period of time.
Don’t get me wrong I loved having a day-home. It was so good for my oldest daughter, she got to be surrounded by her friends on a daily basis. But I felt too much guilt to take a maternity leave after I had my last daughter and I never had to energy or freedom that comes with a maternity leave. I never got to have a day of just cuddling my new baby and connecting with her like I had with my first daughter. I felt this need to be superwoman and not let anyone down. In the end I let my family down. My son did not get much time with me, and he never got any alone time either. That all comes with the territory of having a day-home and I knew that and we all knew that, but I also wanted my kids to have more of their mom in the end. Covid was the tipping point for us. So many people were so afraid of covid, myself included, and yet others were not. It was hard to please people and the Government of Saskatchewan really hung day-care providers out to dry. I did my best to follow the guidelines and put the responsibility on the daycare families or parents to follow the rules. Public Daycares had a much easier time with policing and enforcing the no refund policies. When speaking with them they made it very clear that a spot was a spot no exceptions. My people pleasing ways became my worst enemy to my family financially. I never knew what my income would be due to refunds or discounts. It was at that point that we knew something needed to change.
I told my husband I knew I could make up the loss of income with photography but that I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. I was nervous. I didn’t want friends to feel obligated to book with me and be unhappy with my work. So I decided in September of 2021 to do model calls. I had a few sessions that I did not like due to lighting but it was all trial and error. In the end the reason I did not like those photos was more to do with my gear than anything else. The megapixels were not the high quality that I needed. So I went out and bought myself one of the best DSLRs in the world. The Nikon D850 and I have never looked back. I feel so confident with my gear and look forward to any lighting situation or location that clients pick. Now it is July of 2022 and I charge people, and have been able to make a good income to supplement my family when my day-home was taking a hit with refunds and discounts. My photography prices are stable and fair. I have trusted in my quality of work and know that the right client will be happy with my prices and the final product that I deliver. I have done all types of photos since making the leap, from boudoir, to engagement, to weddings, to grads, to branding and so much more. I have chosen to be brave and not follow my people pleasing behaviour and please myself, my desires, and my family. I have seen a huge change in myself, my husband, and my children since I started to set boundaries with others. It has come at a cost, there has been financial loss, friendship losses, reputation damage and stress. However so many more people have been by my side cheering me on this entire journey. From referrals, too texts, to phone calls to check in and make sure that myself and my family are all doing well. The amount of people who have told me how brave I am and how much they want to see me succeed is amazing, and that the best thing in the world is to go after what works for myself and my family is overwhelming.
I hope that my journey can give someone else who is struggling with being afraid to reach their potential to take that leap and beat the fear of other peoples opinions and do what makes them happy and proud. Go after what gives their life purpose and meaning vs what you others think you should be doing. You will still find those who doubt you or criticize you or gossip about you but eventually you figure out how to be more confident and let your happiness speak for itself. Follow your gut and the rest will fall into place. Do not hold on to what is not serving you. Trust yourself and it will be worth it.
